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The powers that be at Al Jazeera have offered Secretary of State Hillary Clinton a job.
Ever since she gave them a free commercial on the floor of the Senate, they began development of a signing package for her talents at the “real-news-even-if-you-don’t-agree” station.
First of all, the former First Lady will have to cover her face. She may not agree with that, but that’s really one of the most important things.
Secondly, she will be the travelling road reporter that reports exclusively on honor killings and mutilations. It will be her job, for example, to describe the reasoning behind each individual female mutilation and death due to Islamic Law.
Christiane Amanpour of the slummy ABC News network held an interview about the job offer with the Chief Editor of Al Jazeera, Ahmed Sheikh. During the interview, Amanpour asked a very pointed question pertaining to the fine print of the contract.
“Ahmed, why do think that one of the most intelligent women in the world would, and I quote from the text, ‘bake cookies and iron shirts,’ as part of the deal?”
Al Jazeera’s executive responded, “Silence, Infidel! Just kidding, Chrissy, c’mon I’m joking, you know me. But, to answer your question, we are confident she will perform those traditional activities because she knows her place in a man’s world. After all, she defended the rights of President Clinton, peace be upon him, to have concubines. But look, we already have Medea Benjamin of Code Pink and Naomi Wolf, we are sure Hilary will fit right in.”
Sheikh also revealed one possible deal-breaker that has been discussed internally, namely, Hillary’s possible Jewish roots.
“I’ll admit it has been discussed, I mean, as I have said in the past, even if you hate the Israelis that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t speak with them. They are, after all, a party to the conflict. But I told Hillary she is special. She is an extra-special Jew because she denounces and criticizes Israel. We talked for some time, and she revealed to me that the reason she doesn’t want to run for office again is because she would have to “woo the jews” again. We both chuckled at the rhyme and we use it sort of as an inside joke.”
Politico reported that trusted sources familiar with the deal said that they think that it is possible but don’t say you heard it from them, that Hillary is seriously considering the deal.
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- "It always amazes me the sheer number of women who defend abortion. Legal abortion has killed 52 million innocents since '73, that means 26 million roughly, were women. Sick." -Jen Kuznicki
- Any woman who understands the problems of running a home will be nearer to understanding the problems of running a country. -Margaret Thatcher
- Entrepreneurs and their small enterprises are responsible for almost all the economic growth in the United States. -Ronald Reagan
- I am extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end. -Margaret Thatcher
- Broadly speaking, the short words are the best, and the old words best of all. -Winston Churchill
I Don’t Deny Global Warming ExistsI don't deny that global warming exists. It does not exist. There is not a pink elephant in my kitchen. I'm not denying it. It is not there. If I denied that there was a pink elephant in my kitchen, it would have to be there, but I would be lying to myself and everyone and walk around it to cook. But it is not there, therefore, I am not denying that it is.
Jen’s Book Reviews
- I can find neither solace or comfort in government. I cannot find hope nor light among those pretending to take my best interest to heart. I cannot worship or revere another human being because there are none alive that can instill my faith. Give me the One God; the One Who had created the heavens and earth and had purposefully breathed life into me. The One Who dwells in the secret place and watches over me and always keeps me company when all others abandoned me. But for Him I would have no purpose in this life; thank you Dear God.
Jen’s Book Reviews
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